 Book helps mothers reclaim the joy of motherhood
By Carole Robinson, Staff Writer
crobinson@williamsonherald.com
Besides washing piles of laundry, cleaning up rooms that seem to be perpetually messy and raising children, staying on a budget and tracking where the money probably adds the most stress and steals the most joy out of being a mother, especially in today’s uncertain economic times. For various reasons, along with the laundry, housecleaning and meal planning financial management generally falls on the shoulders of moms, whether they are stay-at-home moms (SAHM), work-at-home moms (WAHM) or work-at-work moms (WAWM).
According to Franklin resident and mother of two, Kathy Kline Danner, seven out of 10 moms pay the bills, nine out 10 do most of the shopping and now more than ever, both of those chores have become a crushing weight and moms can’t afford to buckle under that weight.
“If you’re a mom – you know Joy, but we have to be reminded to take time to get those hugs, nurture the attitude of gratitude and stop focusing on the self,” she said.
In her book “EnJOY Freedom from Financial Stress,” Danner guides mothers of all ages and stages in life along a path that will lessen the load of financial management at home and “fight the joy thieves of motherhood.”
“I lived it,” she said. “When Ted and I decided to live on only one income, we lost two-thirds of our income.”
Danner, who calls herself a Marine Corps kid, explains in the book that when she was able to focus on the income her family had and not the income they would no longer have, her whole world changed.
“I can honestly tell you, I want for nothing and ‘my cup runneth over’,” she wrote in the book.
The decision to become a SAHM and later a WAHM caused Danner to rethink her spending habits, discern the wants from the needs and nurture the “attitude of gratitude” – being thankful for what she had. She used her mother, a Marine Corps wife, as a measure and she also started depending more on God rather than credit cards for happiness.
“This book is not faith-based. It’s just a way to gently guide moms toward how I did it,” she said. “Faith is the opposite of fear – if you’re stressing over finances – it’s fear.”
If the whole idea of tracking every dollar sounds overwhelming or time consuming – start with baby steps, Danner said.
Analyze the most recent grocery receipt. Mark convenience items, impulse items and items that were not on the list and star coupon items. The remaining items should be staples. The goal is to have more and more staples and fewer and fewer of the marked items, she said. Those are the needs – the rest are wants.
Danner offers three levels of budgeting: Crawler, Walker and Runner – depending on how aggressive one needs to be. They all help track the ever-illusive dollar, stay on that budget and fill the piggy bank with cash instead of I-O-Us.
Like a diet, she said, it’s not about the budget; it’s about going to the source. For those who need extra help – seek a mentor mom, she advised.
“Sometimes it’s not a likely person,” she said. “I had an 86-year-old who helped me really stretch outside the boundaries.”
EnJOY Freedom from Financial Stress will help to build a “one click” budget and reclaim the joy over financial stress that just overloads the many other stresses in a mother’s life.
“Moms are the ones who get stressed,” according to Danner, who says she is married to a “Nissan man” and has worked on her method of financial management and finding joy in three states. “Joy is the medicine for stress.”
And so is recess.
“Don’t forget recess – it’s important for moms, too.” She added. “Exercise, take a break – paint your toenails, do something for yourself.”
Danner said she wrote the book because she wanted to share what she has learned since she and her husband decided she would become a SAHM and later a WAHM.
“I am hoping that moms who are struggling from financial stress will use the book and find Joy,” she said. “The ideas are simple, fun, frugal and wholesome – just like PB & J – and can be applied to other areas that steal the joy.”
Danner is also sharing her ideas in local magazines and on the Internet at www.PBandJAHM where visitors can find a plethora of information including recipes, budgeting issues, things to do with kids, tips and more. The book can also be ordered on the Web site or meet Kathy at Landmark Booksellers on Saturday, July 11, at 3 p.m. for a book signing.
Carole Robinson can be contacted at crobinson@williamsonherald.com
Posted on: 7/9/2009
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