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The Wag: From bees to bottle rockets, summer is hardly a blast

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Puppy Stout, Columnist

Puppy Stout brings his column, The Wag, to the Williamson Herald from The Tennessean where it has appeared for well over a decade. We are delighted to welcome Pup. He will regale you with his adventures in his own voice. His mom, Vicki Stout, helps him paw the keyboard at times, but it IS Puppy Stout doing the talking, aka barking.

Oh, dog, a friend of mine, Josie Goldston, has had a heck of a time. Summer’s not going well for her. 

First off, she had a hot spot on her leg. Most of you, my doggie friends, know what that is. But if you’ve been lucky enough to avoid them, a hot spot is a place that itches so much you can’t help but scratch and even bite it. You’re miserable. 

Josie’s mom and dad, Charlotte and Michael Goldston, took Josie forthwith to her doctor, Blake Malone, at Animalia Health and Wellness in Franklin. Doc Malone is my doctor, too. He’s the best.

Josie received meds and a foam spray for her hot spot — and a cone of shame. 

I don’t know if you’ve ever had to wear one; they’re dreadful. The cone is a big plastic thing that goes around your neck. No dog — and I do mean no dog — wants to wear or be seen in one.

So, in the house, Josie was bumping into everything, as one does when one is dressed in that nightmare cone. Going outside to potty was equally as bad. It’s so blasted hot out there. This heat is indogmane.

Well, just when she thought things could not be worse, they became so. A bee flew into that cone and stung poor Josie on the eye. She went yelping into the house. When her parents saw the swelling, they put her in the car and headed for Animalia as fast as they could. On the way there, that poor dog feinted. Her dad drove like the wind to get her there ASAP.

Luckily, they live close by, so it was a quick trip. Malone gave her steroids and meds. The swelling started going down. When she was stable, her dad took her home.

Her mom ordered a new, different and better kind of cone that looks like a lifesaver around her neck. It’s soft. She’s still on meds, including the foam for her hot spot, but, thankfully, that dog is OK.

Josie’s parents gave her ice cream as a treat. Her brother, Lucky Dog Goldston, also had ice cream. True to his name, he hasn’t had a hot spot, a cone of shame or a bee sting.

Some guys have all the luck.

Beware July 4

Everyone, perk up your ears and listen to me: Do not, do not, do not go anywhere near fireworks for any Fourth of July celebrations. They’re loud and scary. No matter where you live, you can probably hear some either nearby or faraway. 

Do not even consider going outside to watch them light up the sky.

If you are crazy afraid of the noise, have your parents get you a sedative from your doctor. I hate taking a pill more than any dog I know, but when it comes to those blasted fireworks, I’ll swallow one. I will say that Mom hides my pill fairly well in a treat, a bit of cookie or a piece of cheese to disguise it.

But, truthfully, I’ve never seen a pill I’ve liked or couldn’t detect. I usually spit them out after I’ve eaten what’s around them, but I do manage to get one down for the Fourth. My sister, Mattie, is way more terrified of fireworks than I. She can’t get that pill down fast enough.

Horrid heat, hot spots, bees and fireworks — where, I ask you, is summer fun?

Wags and woofs,


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