COMMENTARY BY RAMON PRESSON: Ramonís 21 days of unrestrained gratitude
By Ramon Presson, Columnist
DAY 1: I'm thankful for all the leftover Halloween candy we have. I've got lunch covered for the next two weeks.
DAY 2: I'm thankful for the orange barrels on a highway construction site that allow me to practice my downhill slalom technique.
DAY 3: I'm thankful that as an adult I can rake leaves on the ground. When I was a child migrant leaf worker in Vermont made us climb big oak trees and tall sugar maples and pick the leaves off by hand.
DAY 4: I'm thankful that Arizona is the one state in the U.S. that does not recognize Daylight Savings Time because when I used to live in an adobe hut in the Mojave Desert I didn't have to worry about setting my clock back or changing my smoke alarm batteries.
DAY 5: I'm thankful that the new 2013 Chick-fil-A calendars are out now. They do have great coupons in them but I admit being disappointed because I thought it was a swimsuit calendar. (I think the theme "Bovines in Bikinis" would be a big hit.)
DAY 6: I'm thankful that MTV has hired Ozzy Osborne to explain the Electoral College tonight during election coverage. That's the only way it could make less sense than a beauty pageant contestant explaining baseball’s infield fly rule.
DAY 7: I'm thankful there are plans to make a Veggie Hot Pocket because when I totally scald my tongue and shred the inside of my mouth I like knowing it's for a healthy and nutritious cause.
DAY 8: I'm thankful that the "P" in raspberry and the "L" in salmon have agreed to keep silent. Otherwise I might have to do something ugly to shut them up.
DAY 9: I'm thankful that Tennessee didn't consider legalizing marijuana. Having a No. 2 ranking in the nation for meth labs means we need to keep our focus if we're going to overtake Mississippi for the top spot.
DAY 10: I'm thankful for the unique selection of grocery items at Trader Joe's. Although I have to say I think they are guilty of false advertising because yesterday I took some old records and some farm equipment to swap for some food and they just laughed at me.
DAY 11: I'm thankful that Brett Favre is staying retired so he can show up at parks and play touch football with young men who are also wearing Wrangler jeans. Actually, that makes me nervous now that I'm thinking about it.
DAY 12: I'm thankful for handy e-cards because when Google reminded me that today is the famous sculptor Auguste Rodin's 172nd birthday I knew it was too late for me to put a regular birthday card to him in the mail.
DAY 13: I'm thankful as I am well into another workweek that I have such a wonderfully caring and encouraging boss. He always tells me I'm doing a good job. And he's very understanding whenever I come in late or leave early. Oh yea, that's right; I'm self-employed.
DAY 14: I'm thankful for personalized service – like when a Starbucks barista asks my name so he/she can write it on my cup. That allows me to make up a name and be anyone I want to be. For example, yesterday I was Jacques Pierre. Today I'm... ("I have a venti soy peppermint pumpkin spice latte for Bubba Joe Bob.") Excuse me folks; my drink's ready...
DAY 15: I'm thankful that there's practically an infinite number of phobias and psychological disorders documented in the U.S. because I think people like to have choices.
DAY 16: I'm thankful for NASCAR. You gotta love a sport that competes for 10 months of Sundays but never on Easter Sunday or on Mother's Day. NASCAR drivers love Jesus and their mamas. OK, well maybe not in that order.
DAY 17: I'm thankful for how the weekend arrives not a moment too soon...sorta like a gas station with an unlocked bathroom after a reeeeaaaaaly long stretch of rural highway.
DAY 18: I'm thankful for the millions of people on Facebook who know how to run an entire country while having considerable difficulty managing their own personal lives and relationships.
DAY 19: I'm thankful that Benjamin Franklin didn't get his way in 1784 and the turkey become our national bird. If that had happened we'd be eating roasted eagle for Thanksgiving, and there just ain't much meat on eagle legs. Plus it’s really hard to train a turkey to fly around a football stadium during the national anthem.
DAY 20: I'm thankful that the Indians and Pilgrims got together for that first covered dish supper and that it went so well. I understand that it wasn't until the middle of the night that everybody realized that anything with mayonnaise should stay refrigerated.
DAY 21: I'm thankful that this daily Thankfulness Project is over so we can all call an end to this non-stop gratitude and get back to chronic complaining and negativity.
Author and therapist, Ramon Presson, is the founder of LifeChange Counseling and the Marriage Center of Franklin, TN. www.LifeChangeCS.org email@example.com www.ramonpresson.com
Posted on: 11/20/2012